All my life, I’ve waited and waited for someone to stand up for me.
When young, I wanted my mom to stand up for me against the “bullies” in the caretaker’s family but she just laughed at me thinking I was just being silly. The bullies heard me and threatened me further and abuse me more.
And then I wanted my father to stand up for me but he was too busy focusing on his “mission to make me top in exams and fulfilling his dreams that were not achieved”.
In school, I wanted my friends to stand up for me but they sided with the “bullies” and betrayed me.
As a young adult, I wanted my boyfriend to stand up for me when his friends (mine too) made a mockery out of me. But he joined them, instead and I left with waterfalls of tears and betrayal.
And then after marriage, I wanted my spouse to stand up for me, but he didn’t. I ended up standing up for myself.
When I became a famous blogger, I wanted my support, my fans to stand up for me… But there were readers who were pretty nasty.
Eventually, I realised….
Until I stand up for myself, the world will not do it for me.
Only when I stand up for myself, will the Universe stands with me.
It took me 34 years to realise that. I was brought up to see the good side of everyone I see. My heart was tender and I rather people walk all over me than I do to them. But why must it be either them or me? Why can’t we just respect each other? Why must we hurt each other?
When I chose to be a single mother. I rose up to protect my kids. I cannot wait for my late mom, my step father or my male friends to do it for me. I have to do it myself. I don’t know where that inner strength came from, but I believe all parents have that.
And until I learn to respect, honor and love myself will my kids learn the same. I cannot allow them to be like me, letting them be bullied thru out their lives.
And pretending to be someone they are not just to get approval from people who don’t truly matter.
I have to end this.
I cannot be waiting for someone else to stand for me. I have to do this job myself. I love myself enough to walk away from toxic relationships and friendships. And so I love myself enough to stop people from mistreating me.
Only when we “warrior up” will our surroundings be filled with warriors.
I don’t blame, my past. They were there for a reason. The people were my “teachers for a season”.
And I’m glad, my kids are with me to remind my truth, everyday.
My sharing today, dear fellow single mom, end the wait. Be your own warrior. Stand up, defend yourself, love yourself enough to only allow people who love, cherish, respect and honor you, be in your inner circle.
This sharing was triggered by my recent viral tiktok video which was viewed more than 2000 times. And alongside that triumphant celebration, some strangers squeezed in painful insults in the comments (which I’ve learnt to block) .
The video was made by my eldest teenager. He wanted to help me “loosen” up in my tiktok videos and gain supportive followers by joining in the trendy hashtag. And it went viral instead.
I don’t understand why some people spewed nasty things online to strangers they don’t even know. I think that if one has got nothing good to say, it’s best they just kept mum. Because toxic words spread around won’t do anyone good especially in this challenging season. Love is all the power we need. Why don’t we just spread love with empowering words, instead?
Anyway, the video triggered my Warrior Goddess mode. Though I don’t have to reply to them, cos they don’t truly matter to me. But I don’t like to be bullied into silence.
I do my best to walk my talk. And I want my fellow single moms to take a stand for their own being and their kids including their loved ones.
This was what I wrote in my Instagram story….
“Most people (who don’t know the true me) think I hide behind my words. As a blogger for more than a decade, I’ve gotten many comments and critics that hurt deep. And some even invited me to a physical face on, brawl.
Bring it on! I’m not afraid. I will show up. I stand by me, I stand by my words. If needed be, I fight. I protect. I defend myself because I love and honor myself, and my truth. As a single mom, I am the Warrior Goddess. I am my own hero.
My fellow #singlemom If no one, stand, protect, or defend you, its time to garner your own armour. And DIY. No need to wait for Knight in shining armour. When you stand up for yourself, the Universe stands with you.”
This, I can attest.