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135 – Alone in a long train ride in a cold wintry nite

Most peeps will think that I’m accustomed to European life cos my parents lived there….

I thought so too….

Until one day I “ran away” from home…

And of all the days…
The Dutch train chose to break down on me, their system got haywire by some mishap… And I got stranded.

Waiting for the free bus shuttles were not efficient…like some locals, I grabbed on cabs and vans who charged 10euro to a nearby station which was only 10 minutes away. (and in that moment, I was so grateful for Singapore’s system and efficiency in transportation).

At that very moment, I felt so lost, helpless and wanted to call for help from step-dad but my ego won’t permit me. And so, I decided to go with the flow (as much as my limited euro in my pocket. I left in a hurry, I didn’t packed enough).

It was end of winter. But still, I came from a country that is summer all year round, so its pretty cold for me. I only got 1 winter jacket with no long John’s or anything warm beneath.

I called a few friends, most were not in, but one came thru for me and was gracious to let me stay in her home in Germany. But the train ride was unexpectedly long.

And because of the Dutch trains were held up, I was totally away from my scheduled time booked. And I had to be creative to find connecting trains thru out to reach my destination. This was a new adventure for me.

I’ve never been to that side of Germany. And I don’t speak German (But Germans are often well equipped to answer me in English, whenever I’m lost).

Thru out, I had to make pit stops and it was chilling cold. The winds were unkind. Luckily there was this “heater room” in every station. I had to find them ASAP before I turned blue.

In those moments I felt “orphaned” and abandoned….i seek refuge in the Universe. I let my tears glide to the ground, with tales from my sobbing heart.

In almost all my adventures where there is uncertainty of my arrival at the rightful destination (especially where locals don’t speak English like India and some parts of Europe, Southern America and more), I was never fearful. There seems to be trust in the process.

But to let go of people and things one is familiar with can be scary. To let go of this belief that so and so always have your back and your parents will seek high and low if you are missing etc…. can freak us out.

To remove the illusion that we are always safe… leads to vulnerability. But that also unfolds our own hidden (quietly kept) courage, creativity and genius.

People often asked me why I traveled solo. I cannot truly answer them of my “flirtations with spontaneous adventures ” till they experienced for themselves.

Now decades later, with 47 countries in my pocket…. I felt like I was made for this. To discover the unknown. An explorer of all sorts.

I’ve thrown myself in various parts of unknown, not afraid of what ifs but mostly with the mentality – why not?

That most often lead to leaps of discovery only known to myself as I gingerly tiptoed into the realm of the unknown, but with faith that there is a higher power beyond I can ever imagined, that has everything figured out. And I’m just one step away from it all.

Lina.

P. S: After mom passed, I’ve promised myself to write 100 things I wish to share with the world #whatifeellikesaying as authentically as possible (with no sugar coating no ass pleasing words).

After completing the 100 things, I’ve decided to continue this authentic from heart words “sharing ramblings” … I just hope whoever chance upon these can use what I’ve shared and shed some light to their own life journey. Just adopt what feels right and true and learn as much from my journey. That’s my only wish.

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