Facing my old wounds….

I was revamping my site and I went back to wordpress but with a different host.

So the techy stuff awakened me, reminding me of my rustiness with IT. I don’t mind delegating work to a professional website designer like I used to but this time I felt the need to clean the energetic debris and all entanglements associating with my blog.

And after hours of prancing about tweaking here and there… Its time to face the “music” all over again.

I’ve closed the comment section in blogger for many years. I just don’t have the energy to entertain anyone especially the bullies and the “abusive” peeps. Being sensitive, it’s a lot of work.

But just now, I saw some wonderful comments that I have not read before. Totally heart warming.

Many assumed that when I was a food blogger, everything was so easy. Just travel, eat and write.

But the very challenging parts were never revealed..

I did my best to ensure that everything I did was made of integrity. Most reviews were paid out of my own pocket (or family). I can say about 99%.

I never did share with anyone the challenges I faced including close family members. Thus, it was too much to handle for me.

As popularity rose, so were the haters. Back then, I dare not face all these because I hated confrontations and peeps with anger management issues.

But when needed I will fight and draw my swords drenching with blood and definitely tears.

And doing Halal, you thought many wants to do it with integrity but there were instances that stopped me in my tracks such as “bribes” and many more unethical stuff that were asked of me but not given.

And readers who I called bullies and ego peeps abusing me in all kind of colored words for no particular reason .

Shaming me with degrading names like bitches and all sorts of humans intimate parts etc.

I think they were lost, definitely in the wrong site. My site was about halal food. I don’t think the words used were even “halal” . Wrong site, bro.

I then realised, I don’t need all these. You think I’m doing this for fun, for fame and money? Hah, far from it.

And I don’t need sympathy or a pat on the back. I need warriors to stand up with me. I don’t care about bullies who wants to silence me, I believe they were cowards.

They did not even have the balls to give me their true names. Nor give me a good reason and tell me politely what my mistakes were.

I wanted to say-“I am not your enemy. I was providing a free service to serve my community. Tell me nicely, so I can improve. If not, shut up .”

You don’t just rant vulgarities, to strangers you never met. I mean did you kiss your loved ones with those foul mouths and hearts?

You can only criticise me if you are in the ring of fire with me. Walk my journey and tell me if I deserve your pathetic abuses.

Nevertheless, though the old comments came back in the process of transferring the 2 blog sites, the energy remnants still has a slight stinky scent but not affecting me as much.

I want to thank all the wonderful people who took the time to write me such beautiful comments.

Only the Divine can repay your awesomeness.

As for the abusers, the bullies and haters, I thank you too. Because I learnt so much. You mirrored me and showcased all the illusions of fear within me that I had adopted.

I knew then what I must do.

To face these fears in my skeletons’ closet, cleanse, heal and forgive. Not easy but possible.

You no longer have control over me. I set you free.

You are free and I am free.

All is well between us.

I am at peace with all these.

Finally.

Lina.

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