117 – Numbness of the heart

What I feel like saying…
Feeling numb.
I seldom feel numb because I see the world with my heart. And feeling numb to me means my heart is stuffed. 
Too crammed with emotions that have not been acknowledged. Perhaps I’ve been too busy to listen, heal and release. 
Or perhaps I went through an event/ series of events that shocked my being  and created a chokeful of emotions that can be overwhelming to heal in mere days or weeks.. 
Once or twice I do felt numb in the past because I can no longer tolerate the repetitive heartbreaks and betrayal especially from my loved ones….some peeps who I’m willing to go to the end of the world with.
How does numbness feel? It felt like my heart is close tightly and no one can enters. As if it was cordoned off. Its like watching the world without its colors and sounds. 
Felt estranged from it. Felt separated from everyone else. Felt as if my heart is armoured and there were warriors guarding it and no one can hurt it again. 
Either to protect itself from more hurt or to nurse the wounds it has gathered, numbness was what I felt.
If it’s a person, I cannot feel anything for that person. Be it love or hate. Nothing. Like a stranger, when I face her/him, I felt nothing. And nothing can open my heart for him/her. No more opportunities to make amends. Its the end.
But deep down there were lots going on.
If you feel numb, let it be. It can last a few days, or it can also be a few years.
Don’t hurry to open the wounded heart. Take your time. Let the heart take all the time she (it) wants.
Eventually, the heart will open and tears of emotions may just erupt out of nowhere. It can be triggered by a song, a movie and many more. When that happens, let it run till dry.
Do, express whatever the heart wishes to do. Journal. Pen every word. Listen. To the cries of the heart and soul.
If you feel that you are disconnected with your heart… 
Just tap gently at your heart area and say – Dear Heart, I respect and honour you. Do what you have to do. I’m here for you. “
Hope that helps.
Love,
Lina. 
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