Day 69 – Cherished childhood

Day 69- What I feel like saying…
Childhood is a world of wonders, awe and explorations. Don’t fast forward them too soon. 
When I was young, I have no time to be a child. 
I was busy doing my best to grow up fast. And when mom became single, I jumped straight into adulthood… 
Doing my best to be responsible, independent adult at the age of 10. But mainly to solve all issues by myself and keep out of trouble so as not to burden her more. 
Everything went so fast, I went to work and go to school and kept my family matters to myself. 
When mom needed me to be her confidante, I became her super booster. To give her positive support and empowerment when the world wore her down. 
I didn’t really have time to hang out with my friends. In between family affairs, my own and work, I had many school activities being the librarian, dancer and also the police cadet.
And whatever leftover time I had, I sometimes worked 2 jobs.
I didn’t have time to play or socialise either. By the time I reached adulthood, I had aged mentally and emotionally (but I still look like a teenager) .The world felt very heavy on my shoulders. 
I felt like i was in my forties. I grew tired of life as if I was reaching my mid life crisis. 
Probably one of the reason, I jumped into the idea of being a homemaker, a kind of a breather, once my kids were born. 
Looking back, I often wondered where all the fun of my childhood went. Because there weren’t many. 
Childhood was always about finding solutions for the adults in the real world and I had to play pretend to be a responsible independent adult. 
Recently… 
I remembered all these suddenly when I caught myself urging my kids to be responsible, independent men. And I stopped myself when my youngest looked overwhelmed by my many demands. 
Well, what can I say, force of habits. 
I’m not crying over spilt milk. Time lost can never be brought back. But there are blessings to my journey and I’m truly grateful. 
The only thing is, I’m reminding myself… (And you :)) 
In what way have I been the parents that I promised never to be? In what way have I been repeating the very mistakes my parents made? 
But even so, our families were put together to challenge us and make us grow to be our bestest selves. 
Regardless of what I wrote, confessed or shared (in this blog especially) , I believe our parents were doing their bestest with what they already knew and experienced. 
No use blaming them cos we don’t truly understood their childhood and past either, thru their eyes (listening to stories with empathy is not the same). 
I told my kids to express openly if I’m taking the joy out of their childhood/teenage years cos sometimes I try too hard to be a good parent (thru my eyes). 
What about you? 
In what ways have you learnt about your parents’ parenting style? What are the pros and cons? 
If you have kids, remind yourself that they are not you. Don’t get caught into the webs of your past. 
And if you don’t have kids, notice how you “parent” yourself. Notice the words used in your mind. Can you still hear your parents’ voices? Are they supportive or demoralising? 
Let kids be kids, teens be teens. Don’t snatch these priceless moments away. 
Why not, join them? 
Be the kid, be the teen. Soak into their world of fun and see life thru their eyes in this generation, not our past generation. And don’t ever compare. 
Have fun, 
Lina. 
P. S: Together, let’s awaken our world by being our most authentic, joyous, abundant, loving selves. 
It’s OK, if you don’t belong to the crowd. Belong to yourself is enough. You are ENOUGH.
Be the unique you and shine. You matter. 
We matter. The world need us in our colourful truths. Stand strong. Rise bold. 
Don’t matter if there is anyone with you or supporting you or the fact that you felt unwanted or rejected. 
You don’t need permission to be you. You are a life warrior. Have courage to do what feels right to you.
Stop hiding in the shadows. Stop concealing your imperfections. 
It’s OK if you have unhealed wounds. Resolute to learn/unlearn, grow and heal them. We are all works-in-progress. 
Your existence is important and it is powerful. There is a great purpose/s in you being alive. 
Remember that. 
I may not know you but if I did, I know, I will love you. Because no matter what we are, we each deserved to be loved, seen, heard and matter.
This is what I believe. This is my truth. I’m Honouring it by sharing and spreading my message. 
What is your truth? Get to know, explore. Then, Express and Share it. 
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