Day 56 – Triggered by my past

Day 56 – the art of being authentic, conscious and abundant woman series continues…. 
what I feel like saying…
If I can rewind to the past and tell my younger self, one of the many things I need to learn is… 
Loving someone is not enough. Two persons in love need to commit and do whatever it takes to make the relationship be a success. 
Because love in human terms is conditional.
And before one gets into a relationship, he/she must know what he/she wanted out of it, her boundaries and her red flags. 
I don’t. I was naive. I was adjusting myself to follow where the winds of my partner blows. I was flexible and adaptable. I was also a people pleaser. I wanted approvals. 
Right before marriage… 
I lost hope in love thinking my version of it was too farfetched and fairytale-like… 
That I settled for the “whatever people believe to be good companionship, to procreate and go where I need to go, the next level of life… To fulfil the status quo, before my body stop manufacturing babies… “
I stopped being in love the moment, I signed on the dotted line. I cried thinking of my freedom being caged and the future of the unknown. 
Marriage is a sacred bond, a contract, a commitment between two beautiful souls and the Divine. 
True love is not caging anyone’s freedom or owning anyone (it can be difficult to breathe in that kind of relationships) . 
No, true love is liberation where two free souls unite as one. 
I threw myself into marriage without understanding or acknowledging any of that. 
It felt like it’s on my next to do list. And I did it… 
If I ever have the chance to share my story to another, I will tell whoever to… Travel the world and discover self before one commits. 
One has to know oneself in order to be in union with another. We attract what we are. 
Though these may be just ramblings in the wee hours of the morning but there are some worthy tips to ponder upon. 
Marriage is not a sexual attraction game, where we dress fancy, have a great party and threw thousands of dollars away in just one day… In order to be Mr and Mrs…. And play house for awhile…. 
It’s more than that. 
We may wear masks when we tied our nuptials (may not be conscious about it) but after years went by, the masks will come off and what happens then? 
Marriage is always the right time…. 
… to be naked and raw with our truths. 
It’s hard work, it’s messy, it’s about growing together, learning and unlearning each others’ beliefs and conditioning, improving and solving challenges, supporting one another as a powerful team thru good, bad and awesome seasons of our lifetime including our family members. 
It’s a lifetime of commitment. And sometimes love just ain’t enough. 
Love, 
Lina. 
P. S: Sometimes when my words felt awkward or so weirdly not in sync, that means, I’m in a “process”. Process meaning – the topic create an uproar of discomfort in my being, that I’m fumbling with my words. 
I was triggered. And that itself is healing for me. 
Thank you for being open to that. 
————————————-
Creating tribes of authentic, conscious
abundant women and men around the world. 
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