Day 53 – the art of being authentic, conscious and abundant woman series continues….
what I feel like saying…
People’s perspectives about you may not be your truth.
I remembered many years back, I was to meet with my old Quranic school colleagues. And we have not met eversince I gave birth.
And I was enthusiastic to share updates on each other’s lives. Back then, I was still wearing the scarf.
The first time they met me, instead of exchanging warm hugs, they sized me up. They scrutinised me from head to toe. I felt as if they were the angels counting my daily sins and questioning my right to ever enter Paradise.
My enthusiasm ran dry. I felt judged even before I open my mouth. I wanted to leave immediately but I stayed as long as I can for the sake of updating our lives.
And later on, they went on discussing about teachers (Ustaz) who seemed to have gone the opposite sides.
I felt helpless, resigned that we never can unite if we continue judging others base on what we thought God gonna judge us on.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Who are we to judge others with these so- called “God’s eyes” ?
Why can’t be just leave that to God, fully?
I remembered I cringe whenever someone judge others’ lifestyle.
For example, hijab/scarves…”She is fashionable Muslim ah, but her scarves were not too long to cover her chest. So woe upon her”.
Instead of gossiping, why don’t we take that energy and tell that person face to face? Or blessed whoever that was and say a little prayer for her?
Why can’t we see everyone thru the eyes of love?
Why can’t we see that everyone is doing their bestest with what they knew and experienced, and be extra kind and gentle with them?
Even till now…
People often mistook, I let go of everything I’ve learnt about Islam just cos I no longer wear the hijab. As if I’ve turned 180 degrees to the other side.
I still pray, I still recite the Quran, fast in Ramadan and all that. I believe the Almighty’s love is unconditional.
But I no longer have to subject myself to the “perfect Muslimah code” .
Even when I was the “role model” as a Muslim food blogger, I was thrown with heaps of criticisms. People judge me thru my words, my clothes, the food I ate, the way I bite, I laugh, my family and many more.
It’s easy to throw your judgements in the wind. But put yourself in my shoes, I doubt you can withstand being me, not even a second.
Before judging others, mirror yourself. Before you spat those mouthful colourful words upon others, say them to yourself. Can you handle that?
Are you doing all these…out of love or out of fear? Are you abusing yourself with those stenching thoughts and words, daily? Better find a solution before the stench spreads.
Don’t spread toxicity.
Spread love instead.
I acknowledge that I’m not perfect. But at least, I have the courage to walk my own path than pretend to be on the right one.
At least, I am bold enough to question myself, my beliefs and experiment with life in order to understand myself deeper.
I no longer follow blindly just because…
And I no longer judge people according to my limited standards. I mean, who am I to judge?
I no longer cared what others view about the dwellers of Paradise is. Or that I no longer be able to enter Paradise or not.
That I surrender to the Creator.
I just do my best, everyday. And to me, that is good enough.
Creating tribes of authentic, conscious
abundant women around the world.
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