I’ve always been fascinated with Debbie Ford’s work especially on the shadow side of human psyche. I find that her words resonate well with me and often spot on as I face a “challenging side” of me..
Not everyone wants to uncover the false selves and research on the human’s shadows. But through her own personal stories and transformations helped me in mine (although she has passed on, i felt her being “alive” like a soul sister overlooking my shoulders with her legacy and messages of life.)
Recently I read one book of hers entitled: Why good people do bad things (How to stop being your own worst enemy).
One of the things highlighted is masks people wear.
And everyone has at least two masks. One is the one we show in public and the other will reveals itself when no one is around.
There are two types of masks: Predator and the Prey (Victimiser and victim).
She even listed and explained the different types of masks of the wounded ego (our individual shame and how we cover it up with)…
- The Seductress
- The Charmer
- The People Pleaser
- The Bully
- The quiet snake
- Too Cool
- The Martyr
- The Good Girl
- The Nice Guy
- The Tough Guy/Tough Cookie
- The Abuser
- The Eternal Optimist
- The Intellect
- The Savior
- The Depressive
- The Jokester
- The Entitled Supporter
- The Loner
- The Victim
- The Overachiever
I’ve used many of those listed above throughout my life.
And as a Mother, I watched my sons at an early age have their own “masks”. One is for school and the other for home.
Teachers will tell me that they are very quiet, sometimes too quiet and strive to be good students whereas at home, I find them to be very expressive and can be noisy. Good with a splash of disobedience at times.
For me, personally…
Although I’ve unmasked myself numerous times, I’m still holding onto my childhood mask/s in an unknown situation.
Mine is good girl.
And sometimes as a Mother, when the going gets tough, I wore the mask of a Martyr.
Sometimes entitled supporter and at times eternal optimist. And sometimes I be the loner.
I’m still a work in progress.
Whatever it is…
I strive to hold myself accountable and be responsible for my own growth and unfoldment…
And whatever shame I have, I will do my best to face it and dig deeper if I have to. If I wear mask automatically, I will reflect and ponder on the reasons.
Main thing is-No use “impressing” people who don’t matter. And people who matter, won’t need impressing.
I just want me to be my most authentic self whatever that may be.
Do read the book, to know more about the masks we portrayed.