So knowing nothing about social dating, I started to research.
To do an app, one has got to be it’s users. So within seconds, I downloaded whatever free and paid social dating apps.
Like a frenzy crazy newbie, I open my heart, mind to really understand the mysterious depth about all these colourful gadgets and human insanity-loneliness and cravings of wanting connection and love.
I’ve heard of happy stories of lovers who were united this way and got married happily to this day.
OKCupid, TINDER, SKOUT,Flurv, Match.com, e-Harmony, aktor, lovoo, noonswoon, liker, say Hi, lovestruck, dategowhere, AYI (are you interested?), fervour, waplog, dating DNA , spiritual dating sites and many more….. they were like new continents in which I have not stepped upon, but I was hungry to learn more….
My experience was….
At first, it was awkward.
I was doing what I thought was sincere, from the heart and legit. I complete all the hundreds or is it thousands of questions they sprung upon me. It felt a little bit like sitting for an interview for a job that I don’t really want.
But nevertheless, I don’t give up that easily. Bring it on! I wanna complete the forms.
And then the profile writing is horendous. What to write?Writing about others is ok but myself in mere words to introduce myself to the stranger world of “single” people ?(some are married and in complicated relationships, and some are just looking for hooksups or third wives). Hmm…
As time goes, I read about other profile and chat with some people and I get the hang of it.
I became like an expert. I know what photos are good and what is not. What type of profiles are looking for what type of women etc.
At first it was for fun and then it became busy like a chat app.
Anyway, I did not read about any scams during this Christmas season nor did I research about it. I don’t want my focus to be fixated on that.
Anyhow in the spirit of the dating world and research, I continued. I was curious .
Eventually I got bored. Because I was not really into the dating online thingy. But I persevered.
Somehow there were a few who caught my fancy but I felt like they were “robots”. Like a computerized scripts being typed out on a mass scale by people who are on their desktops/laptops all day. It’s like computer help desk support or something.
And I was right. Being a newbie, I was soon surrounded by “sharks”. These men were from UK.
Good looking almost perfect like photos.
One of them gave it away when he asked me-
1) Has anyone given me gifts before?
2)Have you heard of any bad stories of people on the internet?
I became slightly suspicious. And true enough, the very next day, one of them decided to “up” their game by showering me with so called “romantic words”, emoticons and so called online hugs and kisses.
And then the next I heard was that he wants to marry me and buy a house in whatever country I’m living in.
The story was quite convincing for the gullible eyes and ears. A single white man whose wife died from a car crash (Ferrari) and left him with a beautiful daughter. And that he was from Military in UK with a mother who is a teacher.
And then as I probe further wanting to know his details like recent photos and such, he decided to drop me a Christmas card or gift. He asked me for my personal details-postal address.
Do not give anyone your personal details especially your home or postal address.
I went along cos I got po boxes.(but still it’s not safe, do not try this!)
And before I knew it , he told me that he has already send me an iphone 6, jewellery and also some cash which amounts to a whopping $300,000 pounds. All these for me?! Just because its Christmas and Christmas is a spirit of giving? (Bill Gates, Donald Trump, did u hear that? hee)
I know something was not right. Who in the right mind wanted to send their lifetime savings to a stranger from across the world just to marry and buy house? Not someone you met within days,for sure. And the best part was, his mother, a teacher is as gullible (or stupid) to allow or shall I say encourage his son by contributing to the “gift package”.
Of course all kinds of thoughts popped up. One of them was-whether they were from underground world who wanted to get a whole load of “dirty money” out from the country.
I played along. I wanna know where this will lead to.
And then the very next day, a lady called from “Cargo”. She wanted to sound professional and kept on talking to me in Malay but her English is bad. I know our customer service may not be the best in the world but our English is quite good and understandable.
I continued in English. She went blabbing about that my package has arrived in airport at 7pm and because it’s using “diplomatic” way, they cannot open it up. By right they have to open the package to ensure it’s safe blah blah blah.
And then she said that she has been trying to contact the sender for hours (knowing UK was in sleeping zone) and kept pestering me to contact him.
The weird part was he replied asap in the wee hours of 3am London time. And somehow the key message was that someone need to pay declaration fees for the “expensive gifts package”.
Declaration fees so that the package can be delivered to me asap and documents of it being “safe” and blah blah blah. Actually I got “lost” in the conversations in between.
I send lots of packages overseas to and fro a lot of places. I also have military friends from various parts of the world and they give me presents big and small and I have never paid any fees for it.
Normally whatever fees needed to be paid is borne by the sender at the time they wanted to send it.
So cut thru the bullshit, I played along and eventually the woman got nervous. I did tell her that her number is not from Changi cargo whatever. Also the fact that the account they wanted me to transfer the money to is personal account with a name.
And I told the “Cargo Operator” that I actually wanted to go on site to see my package. I said I wanted to pay right there and then and thousand excuses came like a flash.
She created excuses that the package has to be approved by superiors and it will take hours or days for approval. And when I asked to talk to her superiors. She got nervous again.Anyway, the transfer account bullshit is one of the most ridiculous thing.
I got tired of the whole shenanigans and I told them that Santa has put their names on the “naughty list” and then I went to make a police report.
I dunno what to say. If I have a fragile heart and this is truly my first time making love connection with the outside world, I would have been heart broken, flabbergasted by the whole incident and probably numb my heart and declare that-All the nice honest guys are taken and what was left are liars and thieves.
But that’s not true. The reality that we are living is what we created, ouselves.
There are many amazing single people both men and women. Good looking, good careers, some with businesses… active and have amazing healthy regime etc. So, its abundantiful.
With that being said, I felt a pang of disappointment.
I am a writer. I do live in my “fantasy” head most times that means I believe in fairy tales and they live in love happily ever after, that sort of things but I felt disappointed that people are taking advantage of other people whose intention was only to get connected with love.
Love was their only intention. It’s pure. Why corrupt that with these lies? The purity of love has been tainted. I’m afraid for the younger generation. (Melodramatic a bit).
Maybe there were people who got conned with this but I hope that whoever was on social dating platforms, do exercise caution. Mainly trust yourself when you feel something fishy or amiss.
I’m just sharing my experiences and hope that it helps to prevent this type of crime from spreading.
When something felt too good to be true, perhaps it is. But mainly, trust yourself, your intuition, your own guide.
But with that do not be faltered by these liars, dear soul mates of the world….
I believe your true love is out there, somewhere.
Do keep that hope and faith alive, my dear seekers and attractors.
p.s: I met all kinds of people, eventually. A 1 month stint became 3 months and continues on. They became my friends. I met some people who were visiting Singapore. So far, it was pretty good… so this one off thingy should not deter me, you or anyone else. Just focus on the good and the love that surrounds the world. And that shall be what we attract.