TV dream – Chronicles Part 2:Separation anxiety

A fan who became a friend asked, “How can u bear to leave ur kids behind n travel?”

“I can’t”, I answered. 
Since  the day they were born , I was with them (I did my best to be there 24 by 7 )for more than 10 years. I was there when they spoke their first words , when they took their first steps, when they start their first school…etc. I can proudly say- Look! All done with no maid!
I ensure they were breastfed fully (I was taught…in Islam, we are encouraged to breast feed our kids for 2years) .So with all that being done, how can I ever leave them? They are a part of me. 
I was there every single minute of their life  and how can I ever leave them? Kids do have separation anxiety but if you asked me, the parents too have it. And we are not as good as them in adapting to it, for me personally, I chucked it aside. 
Life rolls on regardless if we are happy or sad so like a factory, if one station stops, the rest of the system gets clogged.
I choose to chuck it aside temporarily and face it when I’m free (I do it on the same day) 
The next question came- How did I do it?
It’s no biggie really. Just do what I need to do. I only cross the bridge when I come to it. 
Today is Sunday, as I was walking back to home in Little India, I felt very fascinated by these endless streams of foreign talents from India and it’s neighboring countries. (I was told to avoid Little India on Sundays but seriously don’t … Go there!)
If u have the time, do talk to them and to all other foreign workers like our helpers aka maids both Indonesians and Filipinos… 
Ask them how do they do it? How did they leave their home towns, their loved ones for decades just so their family back home can have a decent meal and proper education. And their work is tough. It’s almost backbreaking and some do not even have OFF days. Hmm… 
I don’t think I can be like them.I cannot leave my family for decades. Sometimes, to live the path we choose, it’s easy to be numb and focus on the goal for other people’s sake. 
May the Almighty bless each and everyone of them and make their lives and their loved ones happy and full of abundance and love. 
Alhamdulillah. I’m thankful. It’s tough for me to get by some days but when I think about others less well off than me, I felt very fortunate. I am thankful. 
If you know any of them, be nice. Love them like you want to be loved. We are all the same. Different races, different thoughts but we are the same, we all need love, we are all humans after all.
We are all doing the bestest to live our lives the best we can with what we knew. 
To be continued…

As fresh as it gets, as wet as my eyes are right now…

(This is another blog post done while walking.I got dazed everytime I drop my kids to their governor. The pang of missingness and doubts surfaced almost immediately.Sometimes I circled an area until my legs grew weak. And then I head home. If I can cry to sleep that is a bonus if not, my dazed face will continue the next day until work begins. Which I have no choice of not dwelling into it any further and put on my everyday sunshiny face)
Remember, all these are told thru my eyes, my own life experiences. Whatever that is good from me, learn from it, share and spread it out, whatever that is not good from me, learn from it and, please, please forgive me. I am doing the bestest that I can, just like everyone else, with what I know and have experienced. 
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