Hmm, where do I begin….
Sometimes, I lost all sense of myself, I lost my identity. I forgot who I was, I started looking for another personality to usurp. Where do I even begin.
I have not even blog about my road trips let alone my tummy trips and also the diet journey. And then before I know it, I was booking a plane ticket home. Like a lonesome daughter heading back home for reunion dinner during this Chinese new Year period.
Was supposed to go to Thailand but I was not at ease. I know that its safe to travel there but I do not like the energy…and the curfews and the limitations of movement.
My heart has whispered to me a month ago -Go home, but I was adamant to stick my butt in Asia because of my impending project. I wanted to complete it but at the same time, I was also freaking out cos I have not been on vacation for very long time. And yes, its been 3 years since I last head home, home to where my parents are, where my heart is…
Back to the vacation part… yes, my job is to do what I love. Travelling around the world is my work, some may say its vacation but knowing me, Im always on working mode 24 by 7, the passion just keeps on burning. It knows no end. And of course, the body is burning out.
My love jar is also almost empty, I need to top it up… so thats why the hash tag was #questforlove instead of questforhalalfood #lol.
So this time, I travel for me, not for anyone else or the world, but for me. I need this break. I know this year is gonna be a fantastic one for us and I need all the high energy I can muster.
I book a plane ticket in less than 24 hours, which I seldom do but I know I must do this. I pack very light cos most of my winter clothings, boots and stuff are back home. I travel alone as I normally do.
I find it very therapeutic. Travelling alone is about finding oneself. I love to travel with all types of people but I also love to travel alone. I love to travel with my tummy buddy, Bryan as well (Sorry B, and thank you for staying back to do my work!) and I love travelling with my kids, and my travelling mentors- my parents, the ones who taught me how to travel even when I was a lil child. But travelling alone is really awesome. You gotta try it to believe it.
Its 3 degrees, but I felt so warm inside. I rushed home, my parents cocooned me with their unconditional love. I was exhausted internally, externally, spiritually etc… I just rushed home to recuperate… I thanked Bryan and the awesome team for understanding me and allowing me to head home. They are indeed my soulmates, I do not have to explain anything, they knew, its time.
There are a lot of stuff going on in my head. I was no longer ashamed that I was a single mother. I just want to come out and be who I am. It no longer matter what people think of me, what matters is what I think of myself.
My kids (who have travelled 11 countries with me,alhamdulillah ) always give me the permission slips whenever I wanna travel. They said -Ummi, you got our blessings to wander wherever you wanna go. We give you permission. My eyes welled up… never knew kids nowadays grew up so fast. They are the ones who grounded me when my world goes haywire sometimes. Most times, they are the adults ,and I am the kid.
Few times, I was so tired with life’s challenges that I head home with soggy eyes. My heroes age 11 and 8 took care of me. They hug me close and sing me lullaby. They ensure I sleep first before they did. I am so blessed to have them as my kids.
I taught them to travel as young as in my tummy. I took them travel even before they were 1 year old. I made them passports the minute, I was free to go out after 40 days of giving birth. I told them, they can travel on their own whenever they are ready. And I keep telling them to do what they love and not what people want them to do. Whoever you wanna be, BE.
I realised this blog is not just about Halal food. Im a very shy person. If the magazine and newspaper did not sought me out and publish my photo, my face, I will stay anonymously behind my words for years, decades whatever. Its not that Im scared, I just do not want to be known. I am seriously shy.
Anyway, I went out to meet the fans…getting to know them upclose and personal. As my courage grew, the fans too become bold and slowly are popping up to me and say hi. I realised that most of them read the blog because this blog has a voice and a face. And most of them followed me since day 1 till now. I am really honoured to have them as my fans. I thought in my mind, who wants to read these humble words of mine? Sometimes, it can be a whole bizarre world of rantings and musings only I understand. My words, each have their own meanings in which no dictionary can decipher.
Where am I going with this? I just want to be my true self. I do not want to criticise people and their work of art (food and cooking). I want to encourage and motivate people to cook from the heart and also consumers to choose the bestest food for their body because we definitely deserve the bestest because we are the bestest.
Anyway, being the traveller that I am, and although I am on vacation, I just came back from my 37th country. Wonder what country that I go to? Do check on my facebook.com/worldhalalquest and click LIKE.
As usual, I did not edit my words…
enjoy ur everyday!!
p.s: If u know me well, I’m actually quite funny…and I love to laugh. Tickle me please.
Anyway on a #serious note….
I recently declared to the world that I am on a #questforlove and #questforsoulmate in #Europe. Anyone who are interested, do drop in your resume #lol…
For hints on criteria… do check out facebook.com/worldhalalquest and click like. I drop hints here and there as and when…
Im not asking much, just looking for another soulmate who is romantic,a world traveller (like me #lol), who can understand me well * with or without words…and 35 blah blah more. #lol (Law of Attraction-you got to know what u want before you can get it. So I am very precise and detailed in my #soulmate list)
Gotta do this or else, my parents will start arranging #blinddates for me and they will be my #chaperone #yikes?! #lol Cos they are tired of me crooning this song everyday…
And also I gotta fulfill my #promise that I made on the top of the #Eiffel tower in 2000… to revisit Paris with my #soulmate .
So spread the word, let the Universe know that I’m opening my doors to #love , now. *wink
(and yes, Im addicted to #hash #tags) .