Today’s tip on money and marriage is: PAIN…
1)PAIN IN MARRIAGE –Be aware, acknowledge it and feel it. And then let go, fully.
― Jim Morrison
Everyone has faced some kind of pain in their life. Big, small, tiny or major pain, whatever it is, it is still painful. A mentor once told me that pain are blessings in life. They prick you to ensure that you get your butt moving. To stop procrastinating, to stop wallowing in self misery, or self-depreciated moments. They kick your butt to ensure that you continue living instead of walking around like a dead corpse.
I had my heart broken, many times. It was excruciatingly painful. It felt like my heart was chopped into pieces and then acid was poured onto it. And the best part was, the heart was still intact in me. I cannot get rid of the pain…no matter how long I was willing to give myself – days, weeks or perhaps years. I carried that pain along with me. It was a burden. It was my choice. I can choose to let it hurt me and kept on blaming it or I can choose to let it strengthened me and make me stronger.
After that realization, after every pain, I grew stronger. I became bolder and I became more fearless. That’s the beauty of overcoming every pain-the PLEASURES that comes after it, is priceless.
Love in Islam is acceptable only during marriage. And so… LOVE in this context meant MARRIAGE LOVE.
I realized that LOVE meant differently to two different people even though they may be madly in love. LOVE to me can mean that my life partner should be able to comprehend and understand me well. Thus whenever I need my life partner, he should be able to decipher me well with all my confusing “womanly codes”.
Mainly-Be there, be my shoulder to cry on, be the hand to hold my hand when in fear and mostly when I’m having my emotional turbulences..and LOVE means that whenever I’m with him, my world is safe and secure and nothing else matters.
But LOVE to my partner may mean differently. To him, perhaps LOVE means me being there all the time, ensuring that all his needs are met. His food, his clothing and also his daily household are kept tidy and neat etc. Kinda like a housekeeper who can also shower him with much tender loving care whenever he needs it.
And so if there is a lack of communicating with each other about their own rendition of LOVE, there may be eruptions of dissatisfaction and pain will be resulted after the commotion.
When pain happens, two people are hurt. They felt the pinch. They need to solve it, to heal it. Never ever let the pain unresolved and go to bed angry.
The blessing of a pain is that, one feels alive. To me, after pain, there will be no doubt that PLEASURE is coming next.
Normally after a quarrel and painful disruptions of emotions, two people will open their hearts to resolve the situation because of LOVE. And so they need to embrace each other’s’ perspectives. And thus, they learn more and more about each other after every pain. In this way, they grew together and constantly improve to benefit each other. That is what PAIN is all about, creating pleasures of living and bonding two people in love, in marriage. The goal is to create jannah (paradise) in life and also in hereafter. So make your marriage a living paradise.
2)PAIN IN MONEY-Be aware, bless it with gratitude and then visualise your favorite outcome.
Have you every cringe at the thought of paying your bills, fees or fines? Have you felt so much pain in forking out that amount of money for the services rendered to you monthly?
Thus with that in mind, you kinda dread the end of the month for fear of paying the bills.
And because of that strong vibes of “negative” energy of not wanting to do it, the image of paying these services kept replaying at the back of your mind. And ended up, after you got paid, you got broke as well.
Because of that, our pain is being replayed over and over and thus, we ended up with more and more bills, fees and even fines to pay.
There was a time that I dreaded …the end of the month because I need to open up my mail box. I used to drag my feet and kept pushing it to the next day, to the next day and the next until my bills are overdue.
But I learnt from a successful mentor that I need to “bless” these bills, fees and fines. I need to feel happy in gratitude for the services rendered. Remove those “painful” thoughts and energy from enveloping the bills. Say thank you and be happy.
Also replace those bills with cheques. Imagine the bills as cheques coming in abundantly to pay for your services.
As time goes, it shall be a habit and you no longer associate bills with pain. In fact, you begin to embrace them and visualised your favourite outcome instead: CHEQUES of payment to you.
TO FEEL PAIN IS TO BE ALIVE.
Have fun embracing the “pain” in your life!
Hope that helps!
And have a blessed Friday!
(CEO & Founder of World Halal Success)