If you had followed me thruout the years (since 2007), thank you,if you have just joined me few seconds ago, I say “thank you”.
This post is not about food.Im gonna side tracked…
When I first started out this blog, I had one intention and we have known that every actions of ours must first start on a clean slate of intention.Alhamdulillah,the intention is still glued.
Just read Julie/Julia’s project: http://blogs.salon.com/0001399/2002/09/01.html .Watched the movie too.There were some similarities between mine and Julie.I enjoyed the movie, but the blog “rekindled” all the aching memories of my flimsy fingers ,the yearn of wanting to include personal attachments to it.That was how my blog started….
It was personal when you are a nobody.It was freedom…when there isnt any fans, and even if there are,they are faceless.It was like a little girl who jot down in her Dear Diary project daily…the difference is that I wrote in wriggly poetic expression that only I can understand (so that if it is found,no one has a clue of what its all about).Don’t get me wrong, its not that Im saying Im some kind of big shot now or that Im not thankful for the fans that I have.No, what I meant is that when no one knows you, when no one knows how u look like, and u feel like no one anticipates your arrival, you feel invisible and that is great!There is no escalating pressure.Of course I do appreciate all the acknowledgements.It’s just that..hmm…
I have no idea what Im writing about but I need to let it out. I need to get in touch with my inner self.Which was lost along the way cos I was fixated on it becoming a halal food blog.The truth is blog is a jumbled up of mixtures,happy,sad,bitter,sweet…It is about life,daily life,minutes seconds of events that occur whether u plan it or not.And u are basically sharing it with the world,hoping that what u go thru can give some insights or perhaps motivations or anything as long as it can change the world a tiny bit or make it better or perhaps create some form of entertainment in someone else’s life.
If you had followed me thru since 2007, you realised the blog had gone thru a tremendous change.It started as personal,as time goes,it became a hobby then a habit and now a semi-career.It integrates seamlessly into my life undetected like breathing is to most of us.
Currently,there is a raging war of the words within me.I wanna be liberated but at the same time, I am cautious.Heck, now what I say might cost someone’s job or a closure of someone’s hardearned eatery (ok,maybe Im too exaggerating).
It used to be what I experienced and felt,will be candidly be voiced out straight from the oven,fresh.Hot and piping.Irregardless whether there are spelling mistakes, or the languages are often mixed or the non-existence of so many words that I created just so to perfectly describe such scenarios.
Now,as the faceless readers slowly reveal itself, I became self conscious.Its more restrictive.Its becoming rigid.And if u do know me, I am the not those who can sit still for hours.Too many “what ifs” in my mind that it creates a fence.
And slowly, I realised, my dear self is departing from showing its presence in this blog,monotony is beginning to hit me in the sides.Im feeling kinda battered,overwhelming sometimes…alhamdulillah, when that happens, there will be a letter or two.. sometimes more.. that will perk me up and motivates me.As though the readers can feel my every moment of expressions in actual life.As if the blog wrote its own chapter in its invisible ink.Im thankful.Alhamdulillah,thank you for your support.
This blog started out from a passion but it seems ,its being depleted slowly.
I’m gonna go
for a break,
to find that
At the same time,
of what’s happening.
seek a new journey
that will uncover
a deeper meaning
to what Im searching
Cos the goals are not
Perhaps, i shall unwine and dine for once without the presence of a camera and my mind profusely injecting headlines for the blogs,tags,pics and all that.
I wanted to do so much more but my short arms can only reach as much.
Maybe this is just temporary,
maybe its just imaginary ,
maybe i say hi and bye
just to appear again like a lie,
Maybe I still blog
but on staggered dates
that is the beauty of modern blogs
u can set it to future dates
or even later in the past
or leave it to fate.
We’ll see how it goes…
But for sure…
This is not the ending.
It is just the beginning.
Dear readers,thank you….
from the bottom of my heart
and have a yummilicious day,
p.s: Do continue writing those letters /motivational comments to me thru emails,tweets,fb wherever ,whenever…I am forever looking forward to it wherever I may go..and thank you for building that dream with me esp. in the recent FB celebrity choices for meet eat and burp.I would have never imagined or toy with the idea of a chance to meet,eat and burp with President Obama or late Yusuf Ishak’s wife http://bit.ly/chao41 ….every suggestions,opinions,comments are important to me…thank you.
updated 3.4.10 :Alhamdulillah.Thru recent obstacles/misunderstandings/trials tribulations…I realised that what I wrote is taken seriously far and wide.To such an extent that retractions wil b an almost impossible.Giving star ratings is like giving out awards.It’s like Im running some kind of prestigious newspaper/magazine but its info is diseminate in faster speed within seconds.Beauty of technology.Between floggers,we have a mutual circle of respect n trust amongst us.Between media,they trust our judgement.Between fans,we are their fairy godmothers cos we add some zest in daily meals.Between restaurant/stalls owners,we are either their bestest friend or their public enemy.I make a mistake.I put my name on a line.I gamble my credibility.I get personal.Now its time to step back n reflect.. “food blogging..its not personal…its honesty of the tongue”.Have a yummilicious day,everyone!Your body,your responsibility,eat halal and tayyib anywhere,everywhere…